(Photo courtesy of Brittany Culver flickr.com/photos/brittanyculver)
I was recently talking with a potential career-coaching client. She had voluntarily left a job in finance to build out her experience in marketing. She had a network that she had been cultivating and had projects lined up. Everything seemed to be going according to plan.
But was it really?
I asked about her long-term career plans and if marketing was where she wanted to stay. “Oh no, I have other plans. My husband and I plan to open a cafe someday. This is just a hold over until we get that into operation.”
But something still wasn’t sitting right.
I probed further, “What about you? What are you doing to really make your mark –you know something that can only be done by you because you’re you? “
Silence.
Was I wrong? Had my intuition misread her situation?
“You must be a psychologist!” she said. “I don’t know how you knew this but yes, there is something else completely different that I’ve dreamt of doing. I want to write a book. In fact, I have several books I’ve dreamed of writing. I just haven’t made the time.” My sixth sense had been right.
“So what’s keeping your from making the time?” I asked. She explained that when she had downtime, she tended to garden or do other activities, not writing. It was frustrating because she really could envision herself as a published author.
“Have you ever considered hiring a ghost writer?” I said. The thought had never occurred to her. She thought that in order for her dream to materialize, she would have to make it happen – all by herself.
I explained that to achieve our goals…
- It’s okay to ask for help and in fact, and
- Enlisting expert help can make for an even better end product.
Now she’s investigating ghost writing candidates and is no longer just biding time. She’s making her dream a reality.
Is your dream going nowhere because you’re trying to do it all on your own? What talent or expertise do you need to move your dream forward? Share it here and I’ll brainstorm ways for you to get moving on making your mark!
Maggie Mistal is a certified career & life purpose coach and the host of "Making a Living with Maggie," which airs every Friday at 4 p.m. ET on Martha Stewart Living Radio, Sirius 112, XM 157. Please visit her website at MaggieMistal.com.
From: B Johnson | 8/24/10 at 10:16 am
I have always dreamt of owning my own 'womens only' gym (I won't share the details because it is still my dream
. This is actually a dream I have been cultivating since I was a little girl and beginning in gymnastics. I had such great coaches that they inspired me to keep myself 'in' fitness, in one way or the other. What do I do now, you might ask? I am an admin assistant/accounts payable. YAWN!
From: Jessica | 8/24/10 at 11:07 am
My dream is to help people - i want to be a nutritionist. instead i am a designer at a very well known high end company. i've won national contests and have been recognized by the CFDA, but my heart isnt in it anymore. I feel like fashion is not doing anything good for the world. I'm still in debt from the expensive college i went to, and i dont want to take out a loan to go back to school and be a nutritionist because i'm not sure if i will be successful or what my salary would be. I want to leave and work at another company where I could be making more in order to save up for nutrition school, but I think that will take too long, and also I'm not sure if switching companies is the answer. I seriously need advice. I hope you can help. Thanks.
From: Jocelyn | 8/24/10 at 12:50 pm
I feel trapped and confused. I have worked for the same daily newspaper the past 11 years. It's a creative job, but for the past few years, it has been stressful because we have had layoffs and furloughs. I don't know where the industry is going, and sometimes I think of going back to school to pursue something in the medical field. It would be stable (I think), completely different, and I wonder if it would make me feel like I am helping people (more than I am now). My husband and I put off moving because I was worried about my job. Finally we made that step - last week. But I feel a lot of other pressures: people are ALWAYS asking when/if we're going to have children; I worry about money; and even though I'm only 34, I am scared to change careers.
From: Katie | 8/24/10 at 1:37 pm
I would love to open my own raw food dessert business. I'm not sure where to seek the necessary resources to start my own business, let alone meet all of the food regulations in order to sell items. I read all the books on starting your own business, but it is very overwhelming with all of the information they require just to write a business plan. My current job is draining the life out of me.... i love food, sweets, health, and nutrition! Any help would be very much appreciated
From: Craig Zabransky | 8/24/10 at 4:13 pm
A ghost writer is a great way to go
Also, what I learned is your dream is in your heart, listen to it. It is the only way forward.
Best of luck with your book. And all your dreams.
Stay adventurous, Craig
From: Maggie Mistal | 8/24/10 at 6:10 pm
Thank you ladies for being honest and sharing your dreams with me as well as your fears and concerns. Obviously you are not alone in wanting to do something else with your lives and careers - look at how many comments there are. I hear this everyday from my clients. It's completely natural to want to make career change especially now that the economy has given us all a reason to stop, think and reprioritize.
I work with people one-on-one to offer to make the kinds of changes you each are seeking so if you're interested in learning more about how I can support you specifically and how that would work, please contact me here: http://www.maggiemistal.com/contact.htm
Now here are some ideas to help you move forward with your dreams...
If it's about starting your own business, I recently had a guest on my show who wrote a fantastic, easy to read book called Your Idea, Inc. The author is Sandy Abrams. For my review of the book, go to my reading list on LinkedIn at
http://www.linkedin.com/in/careerscoach.
Another great and free resource is SCORE.org (Senior Core of Retired Execs) where you can get free advice on how to start a business from people with real world experience.
Regarding fear - it's very natural to be afraid of a change. It's human! My favorite resource is Feel the Free and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. I too interviewed Susan on my show and use her book as a resource for my one-on-one coaching clients. I more than recommend it if fear is what is stopping you from moving forward.
Again, each one of your situations is unique and the right next steps are also unique. So if you want individualized help, please reach out at http://www.maggiemistal.com/contact.htm.
Here's to staying adventurous- right Craig!
From: Vinny | 8/25/10 at 12:08 pm
Not stalled but need to make enough money to do it full time!! Gotta bake it to make it!
From: Chandlee Bryan | 8/25/10 at 12:14 pm
You know that old 50's quote (seen infrequently now) that behind every great man is a great woman? In my experience, it's the same with any success or dream realized--there are mentors, supporters and a personal network behind it.
I left a full-time job two years ago to open my own private practice in career management--and to finally pursue my dream of writing. Now I write so frequently that it is second nature--blog posts, articles, and even book chapters.
The thing no one else sees is the crowd underneath me that made it happen. In some ways, it was like being lifted up in a crowd and passed through a mosh pit--the support and willingness to try something out made it happen.
Great post, Maggie. Thanks for sharing. (And Katie, check out LadiesWhoLaunch.com, a community of women who support one another in launching businesses. They can help you make your dream happen. Many women have been known to start businesses organically--e.g. you might start with a farm stand at a local market instead of with a storefront!)
From: Maggie Mistal | 8/29/10 at 11:26 pm
Thanks for your comments as well Vinny and Chandlee.
Yes, Vinny - you gotta bake it to make it - sounds like a fantastic slogan for a T-shirt or hat, don't you think?
And Chandlee, thank you for sharing your story and insights. Good point - It takes a mosh-pit!
From: Looking to Leave Your Job? Start Something on the Side - Whole Living Daily : Whole Living | 8/31/10 at 12:02 pm
[...] week in my post about how to revive a stalled career dream, many of you commented on businesses you wanted to start and transitions you wanted to make from [...]
From: Tonya | 9/23/10 at 9:19 am
My dreams all involve using my creative side. I have actually just started moving on my dreams. I have appointments with schools to get STARTED!! It's the first step and I am WAY excited.
From: Tonya | 9/23/10 at 9:20 am
THANK YOU SO much for the wonderful article!!