The last few weeks have been very painful for my family. Our 11-year-old daughter shared with us that rumors are being spread about her at school and that her peers are ostracizing her. Over the years, Roxy’s teachers would say, “Your daughter is a person who really knows who she is.” However when I dropped her off at school last week she asked me to walk her into the classroom. She was frightened of what would be waiting for her.
As adults, many of us have experienced that feeling of uncertainty. We’ve had co-workers who have spread rumors about us, ignored us or discounted our feelings. Bosses who when giving performance reviews show nothing but displeasure. Competitors who posted negative online reviews of our businesses. Clients who yelled at us and bullied us into working for less, or giving them more for free. Now that I think about it, the workplace can be pretty scary!
Sabotage is often fueled by jealousy. In love, jealousy can break your heart. In business, jealousy can kill your career.
When I was pregnant with Roxy, my biggest competitor told all of my clients that I’d probably be quitting after I had the baby. To combat the speculation, I showed up seven months pregnant at the National Cable Television Association’s annual conference with portfolio in hand. I walked the convention floor until my back ached telling everyone that they could count on my company before, during and after the baby’s delivery. I picked up six new projects on the spot, and without mentioning my competitor’s name; he got branded “out of the loop.”
If you know someone is bullying you or trying to sabotage your career, these strategies will help you deal with it.
Change your internal dialogue
You may be asking yourself, “Why me? Do I attract this?” It’s time to change your patterns by telling yourself, “I am not a victim and I have choices.”
Stand up or you won’t stand a chance
When someone is trying to mess with you, go on the offensive. Tell them (and others who matter) the real story. Don’t shrink like a violet or push the problem to the side hoping it will go away.
Fight fire with fire
Years ago, when a client yelled at me, I yelled back. My reaction was real and powerful. She got the message and never raised her voice to me again.
Think before you react
If you don’t know what to do in the moment, do nothing. Think about the right course of action and take it. Don’t go off half-cocked. Listen to your gut and make a plan.
Rally your brand cheerleaders
Make a list of all the people who love you and support your work. Ask them to write positive online reviews and testimonials. Have them make phone calls on your behalf.
When you are being bullied or sabotaged, it’s important to honor yourself without expectations. Whether you write a letter or say the way you feel face-to-face, take the necessary action and then let it go. The universe will take care of the outcome.
Like my daughter, you may choose to tell your truth, realize that the environment wasn’t really serving you and then leave the situation. If you choose to stay, you will have to accept the person as is, forgive them for their past behavior and never trust them fully again. As Oprah once said smartly, “When people show you who they are believe them.”
Robin Fisher Roffer is a leading brand strategist and reinvention specialist. Founder and CEO of Big Fish Marketing, she is the author of Make A Name For Yourself: 8 Steps Every Woman Needs To Create A Personal Brand Strategy For Success, The Fearless Fish Out Of Water: How To Succeed When You’re The Only One Like You, and Reinventing Yourself: 10 Steps To Shifting Your Career Into High Gear. Learn about her Reinvent Yourself! Workshops at http://relevanceinstitute.com/
