So many people I know who once had major success in high profile positions now feel like they can’t get even get a phone call returned. One former television executive just asked me, “Am I pathetic?”
When you question yourself in this way, you don’t show up, uncertainty does. You may think you’re fooling everyone with the right clothes and your game face, but your insecurity is all they see.
Feeling like you are not enough or that nothing you do is enough is an old story that has a lousy ending. Today’s decision makers want to be reassured that they are making the right choice by working with you. There’s a lot of doubt in the business world and when you doubt yourself, you just add to it.
Here are five ways to step away from doubt and uncertainty and get righteous with the real you:
1. Connect with a supportive community: Community creates contentment. That’s why it’s important not to isolate. When we separate ourselves from our feelings and from positive influences, we sabotage our happiness. To connect with your highest self, get into a group that meets regularly and say good-bye to people who don’t believe in you.
2. Get your swagger on: To instill confidence, you have to move in a way that tells people, “Pay attention to me. What I do and have to say matters.” Make a list of all of your accomplishments to remind yourself of how talented and valuable you really are and then read that list right before you make an important call or walk into a meeting.
3. Be cooperative, not competitive: Yes, you have to stand out from the pack to get a great job or make an awesome deal. Just don’t be ugly about it--when you throw dirt, you lose ground. You want to be seen as a relationship builder who works well with others and can motivate a team to excellence--someone who can collaborate and co-create with a lot of different personalities.
4. Stop asking everyone what they think: Let’s face it, you’re not seeking advice, you’re seeking approval. And the more advice you get, the more confused you become. The answers are inside of you. Listen carefully to your gut and let it guide you to what you really want.
5. Communicate with yourself authentically: More than ever, people are in fear and they want to be around those with inner strength. Now is the time to know yourself, be sure of yourself, and stop apologizing for who you are. If you can’t see past your failures, start being conscious in each moment so you can feel the goodness in you.
The purpose of all communication is about love, not judgments or manipulation. Check your motivations. If you’re coming from a place of desperation, scarcity, or vindictiveness, stop right there and do something to take care of you. Go for a long walk, volunteer, have a good meal, get a massage, or play with your children. You’ll find that through self-care your attitude will improve and opportunity will come knocking.